Olive Nicole Turner

We have another addition to the Turner family. Olive Nicole Turner graced us with her presence at 6:04am (Nick says the nurse’s clock was wrong and it was actually 6:06am) on Tuesday, June 6, 2023.

She weighed 6lbs. 15oz. and was 20 ½ inches long. Surprisingly, she was only a pound bigger than Zion even though she was 2 days past her due date. I guess I just make small babies.

I had a feeling it was a girl throughout my whole pregnancy and sure enough I was right! God blessed me with another great pregnancy with only minor aches and pains and issues. She was healthy and had no complications throughout which was such a different experience compared to all the doctors appointments I had with Zion. I had so many ultrasounds with him and got to see him so much towards the end, but with Olive I only had 4 total. I’m not complaining, it was just different. We are very blessed!

(If you don’t want to read a detailed birth story then I would skip this part)

Monday, June 5, 2023. We had just moved into our new house two days ago but still had some unpacking and organizing to finish. I woke up to my first contraction at 7am. Let me remind you I have never felt a contraction before so even though this is my second child, this was all new to me. But I was pretty confident that was the pain I was feeling. It was a mild pain in my low abdomen which felt like a bad cramp and didn’t last very long. I was excited the first few times but tried to keep my hopes down as I know this could go on and possibly even stop. My mom, who was in town to help with my house and the baby, and I spent all day cleaning, organizing, returning and running errands to check things off our list. All throughout the day I kept having contractions. They would catch my attention but they were never consistent enough or painful enough that I felt I should start timing them. We were able to put our son to bed, I showered and then finally sat down. Contractions were the same so we crawled into bed around 10pm. Nick thankfully was able to sleep but my body decided now that the house was pretty much set it was baby time! I slept off and on with my phone in my hand waking up to each contraction and timing them. I don’t think the tracking was very accurate but around 12:30am I decided to wake Nick up as they seemed about 4 minutes apart and getting tougher and closer together. On the way to the hospital I was texting my sister-in-law and breathing through each contraction. When a contraction would come it hurt really bad and I would close my eyes and think this is the worst thing ever. My mind would wonder and worry that I wouldn’t be able to do this. But the moment they stopped I was happy and in a good mood and able to talk. I felt like two different people. It was so weird! We got to the hospital around 1am and got checked into a room in triage. They hooked me up and confirmed I was having contractions but I was only 3cm dilated. That was pretty discouraging and started the mental struggle. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to withstand the pain and tiredness as I had no idea how long this was going to take. The nurse spoke with the doctor and presented us with two options.

1. We could get admitted but I had to decide now to allow them to give me Pitocin if my laboring decided to hit a lull in progressing.

2. We could spend the next hour or so walking the halls and then they would check me again to see if I had progressed enough to be admitted.

We decided to go with the second option and prayed that my body would do it naturally and progress enough in an hour that I would not have to go home or pre-commit to unnatural methods. We walked in circles, stopped and leaned on the wall through some of the contractions, squatted, complained, talked a little, took a break to lay down, went to the bathroom, then walked some more. It was so hard for me to keep my mind calm . I just kept asking Nick, “Why do people do this? This is stupid.”

I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that women labor in pain for hours to have a baby. I just kept thinking, “Why am I doing this when I could be laying in a bed with an epidural sleeping?!” But for some reason I kept doing it. Walking around and around, extremely tired, bored, and very uncomfortable.

Around 3am we came back to the room as the pain was too intense and I was too tired to walk. The nurse came in to check me and told me I was at 4cm and I instantly whined and said “No, don’t tell me that!” But she reassured me that I was only focused on the dilation, but I had actually made great progress and she was going to go confirm with the doctor that I could get admitted.

At this point the pain was getting tough and I had to make noises through each contraction. My body was shaking which made it really difficult to relax in each contraction. I asked Nick to set his hand on my leg so I could focus on his hand not moving but nothing seemed to help. From this point on it started to get a little crazy.

The nurse was putting in my IV (which she did a terrible job and essentially made my hand out of commission. ARG!) and Nick basically passed out from the needle. So I’m in pain, now worried about him and thinking how I’m going to have to do this myself. The nurse was trying to help him but also finish my IV insertion. The doctor came in at that time to introduce herself. It was a hot mess. Time is a blur but I think around 4:30am we headed to our room. I was able to walk but it took us a little while. We got to our room and I went straight into the bath. The water eased the pain and I was able to relax for a while. Nick brought me my bra but at that point I was already in the water and lost all care for modesty.

Nick forgot a jacket so he had to wrap himself in a blanket and sit in a chair to recover still from almost passing out. I don’t remember what he was doing but the next thing I remember was calling him into the bathroom because the pressure was so bad. He asked if I wanted a nurse and my response was “They can’t do anything for me!” I could not get comfortable anymore. I was not doing a good job staying relaxed, and my mind was all over the place. The pressure was so bad I decided to get out and have them check me. It was too painful and I couldn’t lay still when she tried to check me so I told her to stop. I was a bad patient. It was so hard for me to focus. I did not think I would react this way and I really thought I would be better than this. I felt like I was yelling and at this point I started to beg Nick for an epidural. I remember rolling towards him and saying “Please Nick! Please! I neeeeeeeeed it.” I felt like a drug addict begging for the drugs! He tried to reassure me that I was doing great and almost there but I didn’t believe him. The nurse offered me laughing gas. I did not do any research on pain meds as I was really trying not to have anything so I was skeptical and asked her a few questions and decided to try it. I’ve heard some people like it, but I did not! It took the edge off but once a contraction came I felt like I couldn’t feel or control my body and the pain was still there so I tossed the mask away. But then the pain got worse so I grabbed it back. I had a love hate relationship with the laughing gas. I still wanted the epidural so we decided to get it. She hooked me up to fluids so I could be hydrated and then left the room. I remember feeling defeated that I was too weak to endure and gave in but also a sense of relief. But then a contraction happened and at the end of the contraction my body started to push. It surprised me as I didn’t realize I had to push. I told Nick “Go get the nurse, my body wants to push!” He went and got her and I just kept saying my body is pushing my body is pushing. She checked me and I was at 9.5 cm and it was go time! I remember opening my eyes and seeing lots of people moving around the room. Nick said, “Hey look, it’s a party!” Then the nurse instantly came to me and said, “No, no it is not a party. Don’t worry all these people are just here helping me get the room ready and then they would leave.” Little did she know that Nick said that for me as a joke because it was a party when we had Zion as there were so many different people in the room. All I cared about was not wanting to be naked! So the nurse attempted to take away my towel and put a gown on but I’m pretty sure I was wrapped and tied with both on because later in the day they had a nice time trying to get the towel and gown off to give me a new gown. I remember hearing them say that the Kaiser OB was busy and wasn’t able to be here yet so when each contraction came my body kept wanting to push but in my mind I felt like I shouldn’t since the doctor wasn’t there yet. The nurse told me I can push and do what my body needs to. She was holding a monitor on my stomach to make sure the baby was good while everyone else was still getting the room ready. At that point a Legacy Hospital OB came in and introduced herself and I’m pretty sure I gave her a thumbs up like. “I don’t care who you are, lady! Just get this baby out!” I finally focused and pushed her out! While writing this, it seems like this was a long time, but from getting out of the bath to pushing her out was less than an hour. I believe from when they checked me at 9.5cm and when she arrived it was about 12 minutes and I think I pushed for about 8 minutes. They handed her to me instantly. She nursed a little and we got to hangout. An hour later, they checked her out and got me all cleaned up. She was healthy and I had no tears and felt good. I just felt embarrassed because I didn't react how I expected. I didn’t think I would be so loud. I thought I would be better at relaxing my body and focusing on the task at hand, but nope, I was tense, loud, and not confident. All that to say, it was a painful whirlwind, but thankfully pretty quick! And now it’s over and we have an adorable baby girl of our own.

(If you skipped the birth story you can jump back in now)

One of my best friends texted me and said “So before her cuteness makes you forget, would you do it all natural and unmedicated again?” I said no way. That was terrible! But a week or so later, as I watched my body heal quickly, Olive thriving and growing, and thinking through my labor and delivery, I gained a different perspective and I would totally do it again that way. I would hate every second of it but I would do it again. The reason why is because I feel that that’s how God intended it. He created our bodies so beautifully to bring children into this world naturally. And I also believe it is both a part of the curse of sin and a beautiful part of sanctification as you suffer like Christ.

“To the woman he said, ‘I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children.’” Genesis 3:16a

“A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.”

John 16:21

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 1:6

However, I see nothing wrong with using modern medicine if that’s what you want to do.

A close Godly friend of mine always says that there is nothing wrong with using modern medicine as God is the one who has gifted the people that created it. So many lives have been saved during labor in emergency situations. Sometimes other measures need to be taken even if your convictions pointed you in a different direction.

There is no right or wrong way, but rather just the way that God has already chosen for you and you get to grow in your faith as you trust Him in your labor and delivery. What a precious gift!

What surprised me the most through this process was that all I could think about was comparing myself to other people. How sad is that? While laboring, I struggled the most with controlling my mind. All I kept thinking was how a lot, if not most, of my friends and people on Instagram that I knew who had home births and loved having babies unmedicated are so much better than me. They are quiet and focused, and so good at giving birth. While I felt more like the women you see on TV yelling, moving back and forth, and acting ridiculous.

A couple weeks postpartum I started really thinking about my birth experience and it sparked a lot of thoughts about the insecurities of women and the constant comparison or pressure we place on ourselves.

Comparison - a consideration or estimate of the similarities or dissimilarities between two things or people.

Women are naturally more insecure than men. We worry, overanalyze, and focus too much on what people think of us.

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.”

Jeremiah 17:7

Sadly, there is a constant ringing in most women’s minds of “are we doing it right?” Life is hard, raising kids is hard, and social media doesn’t help! But we as Christian’s should be focusing more on what God’s Word says!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.”

Proverbs 3:5-7

“If you love me, keep my commands.”

John 14:15

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”

Proverbs 22:6

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”

3 John 4:4

You must find your confidence in HIM. Yahweh. Care what He thinks about you as a person, friend, wife and mother. Care that you are an ambassador for Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20) through your actions and words, in all situations, and putting aside the pressures and comparisons of what others are doing and thinking.

If you aren’t already connected to a local church and involved in women’s ministry,. I encourage you to make that happen. It’s great to have friends, but we need godly women in our lives that will encourage us and point us to the truth.

We as women should be lifting each other up. God has gifted us all differently. Whether you took meds or gave birth unmedicated, whether you breastfeed or give your baby formula, whether you sleep train or don’t, whether you do baby led weaning or start with purées, whether you feed your kid sugar and processed foods or strictly healthy whole foods, or whether you feel confident as a parent or second guess every decision…God Bless you. You are doing great. You are strong and capable as you are the best thing for your child. God chose you to be your child’s parent, and that is something you should be thankful for.

Children are a blessing from the Lord. And we only get them for a short period of time so use it wisely and don’t forget to soak it up.

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Jess T.

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Prayer Requests

• That I would become Holy and more like Jesus

• To find joy in raising my kids, that I would feel special and productive that this is a very important job but also a gift

• To have a godly confidence and not worry or care what others think but be comfortable with how I look and act

• That my children would come to know the Lord and live a life that brings glory to Him