"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort."
2 Corinthians 1:3-7
I’m a firm believer that God allows us to go through certain situations in life so we can help others later on. It's a great way to view life so it can give you a better perspective during those difficult times.
Today I want to continue talking about trusting God.
Jeremiah 17:7-8 says, “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.”
Nick and I enjoyed a couple years of marriage before we decided to start growing our family. Little did we know this was going to spark a new journey. It took us 7 months of trying before I got pregnant.
I feel that God gave me a glimpse into how all the women who have difficulty getting pregnant or cannot have children at all feel. There is definitely an emotional rollercoaster this journey takes you on. The anticipation each month, the sadness, the confusion, the frustration. I wish I could say I was perfect in the way I responded during this time, but I wasn’t. However, in the end, I learned to rely on the Lord more and lean into my husband through the ups and downs of my emotions.
If you are someone that has or is struggling with infertility, I just want to say I’m sorry. I only know a tiny piece of what you are feeling and can only imagine the weight you are caring month after month. But I am here to tell you that the Lord sees you and wants to use your life to bring Him glory. He is refining you and making you more like Him. Trust in Him, rejoice in this trial, and praise Him knowing that He is at work.
"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."
Romans 5:3-5
Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow; Praise Him, all creatures here below; Praise Him above, ye heavenly host; Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost! - The Doxology Lyrics
We were overjoyed to find out we were pregnant. I was blessed with good genes and a great pregnancy overall. However, at 20 weeks we found out that Zion had a cyst on his brain and could be born with lots of developmental issues.
We turned down most of the testing they recommended, except for the MRI, since they were not able to do anything for him while he was inside. The MRI showed the same results as the ultrasounds.
So we just waited and prayed. Through the process of monitoring his cyst, the doctors also found out he was measuring really small and there could be an issue with my placenta which could cause complications or even stillbirth. They recommended we induce at 37 weeks to not risk losing him.
Nick and I stayed strong, praying constantly and trusting that all would be okay with our little man. We felt so much love and support from our community and knew we were being covered in prayer which kept us calm through it all.
Zion was born December 8, 2021 10:13am 5 lbs. 11.9oz 19.25 in. He weighed well over what the doctors thought and he did not need to be taken to the NICU. They did an MRI on his brain and confirmed the cyst was a Blake’s pouch cyst and shouldn’t cause any issues.
After lots of paperwork and tests we got to go home the next evening. We couldn’t believe that our son was healthy and able to go home with us. We were so thankful and tired and ready to tackle this new adventure as a family of three.
Fast forward, Zion is developing normally and hitting all his marks that they don’t worry about his cyst at all. Praise God! However he was born with hypospadias and needed a repair surgery done. We knew this from birth and we were just waiting to move, find a surgeon up in Washington, and wait until he got a little bit older.
We had an appointment January 9th with our surgeon and liked him and wanted to move forward. They told us that they are booked up until July…. That means we’ll have a newborn, a 19 month old having surgery, followed by a super tough week of recovery afterwards, on top of all the other stuff going on in our lives. I pleaded my case to them asking if there was anything they could do to get us in sooner. The nurse said she would let us know if anything opened up. Well, here is another opportunity for us to trust God’s timing! This was completely out of our hands and all we knew was that God knew and had a plan and purpose that would ultimately bring Him glory. We went home and three hours later got a phone call saying they got a cancellation and asked us if we could come in tomorrow morning. WHAT! I wasn’t mentally prepared for this. I was both nervous and thankful! We said yes and got everything ready.
We checked in at 6am and anxiously waited to be called in. This was so much harder than I thought it was going to be. Zion cried any time a nurse tried to touch him. He did not want to be there. The doctor and nurses were all so great trying to make him and us feel comfortable as they talked us through everything. But then the anesthesiologist came in, she did her job of preparing us but there was a slight hiccup as Zion was getting over a cold and that could potentially cause serious risks. So five minutes before handing him off we are told the possibility of health problems or that he could not make it. We had to make a difficult decision but we decided to still have the surgery. We prayed for him, read Psalm 91 over him, and handed him off to the doctors and watched them take him away kicking and screaming. Man, that was tough. Then we just went downstairs and waited.
I felt that through so many instances in my life I had learned to trust God. But this was a new form of trusting. I feel that when we talk about trusting in God we subconsciously end that thought with “I trust God that everything will be okay, in my terms” or what I view as “okay.” Now I’m not saying that isn’t true or we shouldn’t believe that everything will be okay. My thought is, do you still trust God when it doesn’t go your way, when everything is not okay? I was challenged in this moment of waiting for my baby to get out of surgery to fully trust in God, but more importantly the Sovereignty of God. Trusting that God is 100% in control of our lives, that He is on the throne and will “work all things for the good of those that love Him and are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). I was emotional as I prayed and said “Lord I trust you even if everything is not okay, because you are God, the Lord of Lords." Talk about a perspective change.
But as Psalm 34:8 says, “Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!”
I found comfort knowing we are safe in His arms and He is our good, good Father no matter the outcome.
Zion’s surgery and recovery went great. We spent the next week praying and praising God for allowing our son to live, to have great results, getting in before the new baby came, and getting through his recovery with only a few struggles.
Not everyone’s story ends this way. Not everyone wants to Praise God in all circumstances. But. If you call yourself a believer, I pray you find peace in our Father and trust that He is in control and will work things out according to His will, for His glory, and we can rejoice knowing that we are safe under His care. I pray that one day I can use my pregnancy and Zion’s surgery as a testimony to encourage other women in their struggles. But until then, if you are reading this I pray that you find a new deeper love and trust in the Sovereignty of God and that you use your own life circumstances to encourage others and point them to the truth.
Jess T.
Prayer requests:
That we would make an impact for the Kingdom of God in the PNW
Pray that we would raise Godly children that love the Lord their God with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength and that we would be examples of that in our daily living
Pray for health and protection over our family and against spiritual attacks
Pray that I God would open the door for me to meet other women and mothers and build new friendships
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